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“Trust is one of the most important elements to any successful relationship, and believe it or not, dirty talk can foster better trust,” he says. There has even been research to suggest that dirty talk can increase a woman’s chances of having an orgasm. To take things to the next level, individuals could also experiment with power dynamic play.

How to dirty talk naturally

Want to share a fantasy about living on a deserted island where there are only the two of you? Or, want to pretend that a party is winding down and there are only a few of you left and things get more playful? “Because sexy talk can be about fantasy, it can offer people a way to play in a certain domain without wanting to, or being able to, engage in those behaviors,” says Gowan. But if the timing does feel right, dirty talk is a great way to increase both your emotional and physical connection. In fact, erotic talk can boost sex drive and arousal, per a Women’s Health UK report.

“Your body is a wonderland.”

Most of our communication doesn’t work via the words you use – body language, the tone of your voice, and facial expressions are way more important. A study published in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationship found that the more comfortable we are talking about sex, the more satisfactory our sex lives will become. “Little signals or texts or messages can help ensure that by the time you’re getting physical with someone, the dirty talk will just feel like a natural progression,” says Eros. This type of dirty talk entails stepping into your own mini movie and directing the action, aka telling someone else or yourself exactly what to do. “Directing can sound like, ‘Take your pants off,’ or ‘Turn around and turn over,’” says Dr. Tara.

• If user-submitted stories (not to mention free!) are more your jam, check out Literotica or Archive of Our Own—if fan-fiction is more your style.
• What’s important for you to know is that for the ones who enjoy it, the way they like it might vary.
• Dirty talk during sex is not about hurting anyone, it’s a mental flirt, a turn-on.

Do: Master the Art of One-Word Dirty Talk

Try one (or all) of these no-fail dirty talk shortcuts to maximize your pleasure and minimize your embarrassment. Whether you’re introducing dirty talk into your bedroom for the first time, or you’ve tried it before and want to feel more confident, discussing the subject before you hit the sheets might calm your nerves. “When you’re trying something new in the bedroom, talking about it can help set the stage and engage your partner’s desires,” Luna Matatas, a sex and pleasure educator, tells Elite Daily. “You can mention that you’re curious about dirty talk and ask what your partner’s experience is with it or what they think about it.

We can focus so much on our own insecurities in bed that we don’t verbally express enough appreciation of our partner. Yeah, we don’t know either, but for those of us who struggle with dirty talk, the scene is a little too relatable. As you bathe in the afterglow of a ravenous session, expand the sensuality with some post-sex dirty talk.

As forced as it sounds when you read it, many of us love hearing dirty talk in the bedroom. We lose ourselves in the heat of passion and take on a persona that turns us on in the most naughty, unconventional ways. What is it about erotic communication that increases our sexual arousal?